The Pen
The nervousness I
feel once my foot entered the door, the pit of my stomach in knots, and now no
time to spare. I get to the computer where I sit for my ENG101 class but my
nervousness can’t get my MEID and password right, over and over again I type,
what? This is the right password; I keep
getting it wrong (I just don't have time for this!) I want to scream, then I
close my eyes and take a deep breath, and within-that breath I pray slightly
for Gods help to calm me, and finally it worked. But when I pull up the email
for my Final Writing project #3 it didn't send. IT DIDN"T SEND! Why? My
heart wanted to jump out, faster and faster it beats. Thank God I have my PC
with me easy fix, so why must I get so worked up? It’s the last day of the
hardest class I have ever had, and my Kryptonite.
I say Kryptonite
because never in my life, have I never thought I was ever good at writing. My
English teacher in high school told me I was stupid once, so I walked out her
class the moment the words came from her mouth. So sitting here in college
ENG101 fighting with this computer that has my WP#3 hostage, darn right I'm
might be lousing it. I'm fighting for that B+ praying for an A. I finally get my paper sent from my PC to my MEID email and now
printed, when Prof. Nielson tells us this isn't our final submission all
my anxiousness for nothing! I think deep inside Prof. Nielson has a masochitic side the way he made me feel all those emotions. My ears were now on fire from
the pain form all the adrenaline I had worked up.
Now
sitting in class we have a cute college girl from ASU talking about "what
do you want to do with the rest of your life?" I sit, listening but still
a little nervous, I never know what to do with my hands so I move and shuffle
things around in-font of me, my folders, notes and now the keyboard, and that’s
where I find the pen. It’s a black uni-ball pen extra fine point with silver
lines which made the shaft of the pen look like an Excel spreadsheet with a
solid black cap and silver embellishment; one would clip to shirt pockets.
I sit and ponder this pen and think "what a shame someone lost this
pen." As I sit and ponder further of what this pen symbolizes to me at
this moment, taking from this pen as a symbol of "write" of passage,
as one would say, a kind of literary play on a words, fitting for a pen that
now has meaning. So to me this pen symbolizes that moment where I fought so
hard to climbing that wall and thought I was going to fall and found if I kept
fighting and not give up and asked for help, help would arrive. I feel like I have
accomplished the biggest obstacle of my life. I know this is just the beginning
of many to follow but if I fight for it I can persevere. I will use this pen to
write my graduation speech of acceptance and acknowledge all those who helped pave the way for my success. Its starts with one mighty pen and a heart to create
something wondrous.
